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Amends can be confusing enough to intimidate the most seasoned person in recovery, let alone the newcomer. After all, the word used in the Big Book to describe “this phase of our development” is “painstaking” (p. 83), a truth to which anyone who has attempted to navigate amends can attest. The quick guide below is a valuable resource to anybody interested in making their amends in a smooth, effective manner. Joi Honer Halfway house directs the operations that support our alumni in their recovery from mental health and substance use disorders. Ms. Honer, who has been in long-term recovery for over 40 years, has worked in the treatment field for over 33 years.

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step 11 is about actively improving our relationship with God, not just maintaining it. The goal is not perfection in spiritual practice but a genuine effort to stay connected to a source of strength greater than ourselves. By improving our conscious contact with God, we gain the emotional stability and guidance needed to navigate life’s challenges. Step 5 is where we take the truths uncovered in Step 4 and share them openly with a sponsor or spiritual advisor.

The Sermon on the Mount: The Key to Success in Life

For example, say https://keyplain.com/understanding-diastolic-and-systolic-blood/ that you stole $20 from your brother while you were using. In the midst of your ninth step, you say to him “I’m so sorry that I stole that money from you and used it for drugs”. A true amend would be giving him $20 back along with the apology. Unfortunately, there are many things that we do in our using that we can not rectify with tangible goods or direct amends.

BARRIERS,ROAD BLOCKS AND THE RECOVERY MOAT

• Ongoing lifestyle adjustments and a dedication to steering clear of previous harmful actions are at the heart of living amends.
• We plead that the harm was something other than our own character defects.
• We cause the person pain and later the guilt catches up and we have pain.
• Sometimes, living amends get a bad rap because people see it as a cop-out.
• Well, your sponsor (or treatment counselor) can help you with the categorization.

What I love about this book is that, while it acknowledges that the road can be challenging at times, the story remains one of hope and perseverance. Apologizing in this way may open the door to continued healing, growth, and restored relationships in recovery. I would also include major financial or work related amends that may result in losing your job, or living amends create heavy financial difficulties for the family. These should be put off until everyone involved is in agreement, and then, only after talking to someone to make sure that you are not overlooking anything. I am not proud of that, but it is the reality of how I used to behave.

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”

Regular practice strengthens our spiritual foundation and keeps us moving forward in personal recovery. Step 10 is a daily practice of self-examination where we review our thoughts, actions, and emotional reactions to ensure we’re staying on the path of spiritual growth. The Big Book describes this step as a way to avoid the return of selfishness, fear, and dishonesty—habits that can block our recovery if left unchecked. Emotional sobriety means being at peace with ourselves and others, and Step 10 helps us maintain that peace by promptly addressing any mistakes we make throughout the day. Step 9 begins by revisiting your Step 8 list and working with a sponsor to determine the best way to approach each amends.